Quatre's Invention
by Clayin
Summary: Quatre has an invention that can make people answer truthfully to any question asked of them! What kind of interesting black-mail does Quatre get with this? hehehe. R


Disclaimers: The Gundam Wing characters aren't mine. Kali and Perdita are mine.  
  
Quatre's Invention  
  
Quatre has just invented a machine that can paralyze someone and make them answer whatever question he asks him or her. They have to answer truthfully, but Quatre has to run quickly because the effect lasts only in very small time periods. Here are the character's responses.  
  
Quatre: Heero, how can you hide guns in your spandex shorts?  
  
Heero: It's quite simple really. I have IDSS spandex, which stands for Inter-Dimensional Storage Space. My spandex is larger on the inside then it is on the outside, which makes sense to everyone, considering the fact that I've pulled guns and laptops out of it, and-OMAE O KOROSU QUATRE!  
  
Quatre: Kali, why do you and Heero despise each other so much?  
  
Kali: I don't despise him! I had a huge crush on him awhile back, but he was always so grouchy and glared at me every time I tried to flirt. I think he doesn't have certain-Ahem-parts, if you know what I mean. But really, I- OH MY GOD, Quatre, I am going to use your SKULL as my COFFEE CUP!  
  
Quatre: Trowa, what are you most afraid of?  
  
Trowa: I'm scared to death of clowns. That's why Cathy can throw knives at me and I don't blink, I've been so scared of the clowns that flying pointy objects don't scare me. Lions don't scare me though, even if they do have huge teeth and big claws and they could easily rip me to shreds, but I'm so terrified of clowns, lions don't seem all that bad, and Quatre, I may have to kill you.  
  
Quatre: Wufei, what do you think of the way people portray you in fics?  
  
Wufei: I am absolutely NOT LIKE THAT! Damnit, SALLY talks about justice WAY more then I do; yet I'm JUSTICE BOY! I can count the number of times I say "JUSTICE" in the series on ONE HAND! But in most fics, I run around waving my sword over my head and YELLING about JUSTICE! If they want to see INJUSTICE, then all they have to do is look at me in fics! Oh, by the way, I'm going to have to silence you now.  
  
Quatre: Duo, what is really with the hair?  
  
Duo: Well, it's kinda embarrassing, but it's kinda obvious, you know? I mean, my hair's just really really long, it would be kind of hard to NOT notice. But it would be even more difficult if I left it unbraided, because then it would get caught in things, and burned and hacked, so I just braid it. **Laughs** I win! You owe me five bucks Quatre, I didn't tell you that my hair is really long because my hair has sort of become an extra limb, and – DAMN IT! Give me that tape!  
  
Quatre: Zechs, do you love Miss Noin?  
  
Zechs: With all my heart body and soul! I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't there! **Pulls out paper from his pocket** I even wrote her a poem! Ahem – The sunlight does you no justice/The moon is put to shame/By your lovely, lovely features/In the pouring rain/Venus should be jealous/For by beauty, she cannot top ya/Juliet has nothing on you/My fair and sweet Lucrezia! **Blinks as though surprised** Oh shit, did I just read my poem out loud? QUATRE, GET BACK HERE WITH THAT TAPE!  
  
Quatre: Miss Noin, do you love Zechs?  
  
Noin: Yeah, but he can be such an ass sometimes. I told him I'd follow him to the depths of Hell and back, and what does he do?! He sends me to BABY- SIT his GOD-AWFUL, ANNOYING BRAT of a sister! I have every F***ING RIGHT to KICK his ASS ALL THE WAY TO ANTARCTICA, BUT I DON'T BECAUSE I LOVE THE BASTARD! **Blinks** Thanks Quatre, that felt good. Just don't show that to Zechs, okay? If he finds out, you can forget ever being able to breed, got it?  
  
Quatre: **very quietly and meekly** yes Miss Noin.  
  
Quatre: Lady Une, how do you really feel about Trieze Kushrenada?  
  
Lady Une: Well, I love him, even if he IS dead and WAS a manipulating bastard that always kept me confused. I worked my hardest to get you Gundam pilots, and what does he do?!  
  
Quatre: uh oh, I know where this is going…  
  
Lady Une: he has the NERVE to tell me to be "more graceful"! So I become "more graceful" as his excellency wishes, and then he has the GALL to send Zechs Marquise out, claiming to be "Millardo Peacecraft"! When I tell him about it, he says, "Millardo is a friend of mine". And he pretty much told me that they were completely different people! **Pauses for breath** Quatre?  
  
Quatre: Hm?  
  
Lady Une: You're gonna die RIGHT NOW!  
  
Quatre: Gleep!  
  
Quatre: Ah, Dorothy…why did you try to kill me with that foil?  
  
Dorothy: **Going gooey eyed** Because I love you so much!  
  
Quatre: Eh?  
  
Dorothy: If we had died romantically in space, pierced by each other's swords, it would have been the most romantic love story of the history of the world! Our names would be immortalized forever, becoming a synonym for love, much like Romeo and Juliet!  
  
Quatre: **Sweatdropping loudly** Ooookay, you just stay right there, don't come near me…stay…stay…  
  
Quatre: Okay, Catherine, what's your opinion about us Gundam pilots?  
  
Catherine: I HATE YOU ALL! I saw him first, he's MINE! First he came to the circus, and he kept disappearing to go off and fight with you…BOYS…and then that stupid spandex boy nearly gets him killed, then he comes back with amnesia, and just when his life force is just right for drinking, YOU come and take him away again! It's frustrating!  
  
Quatre: **Sweatdrops and runs away from psycho, soul-sucking demon Cathy**  
  
Quatre: Hilde, do you love Duo?  
  
Hilde: As a friend, yeah, but not as a boyfriend. That'd feel weird, like kissing your brother. I, personally, have my sights set on Wufei.  
  
Quatre: Wufei?  
  
Hilde: Yeah, I like guys with dark hair…but long hair is better. It says something about guys' personality when he has long hair. But then again, you'd look cute with shoulder-length hair…not in a tail or anything, just hanging loose. You'd look really cute…  
  
The End! (Unless I have an urge to write another!) 


End file.
